When I'm Gone
by My Alibi
Summary: Aria is a loyal guardian to her twin brother, but she has doubts that outnumber her faiths. She must face her own weaknesses before she can let her brother face what he must.
1. Prolouge: Solitude

**

When I'm Gone

  
  
Author Notes:: I have to give credit to Estel for this one... he's actually the creator of Aren. *hugs* Thanxz so much, Dagger.   
  
Disclaimer:: FF10 is not mine... darn....  
****Prolouge:: Solitude**  
  


_'You'd be surprised exactly how hard it can be to be the strong, silent one. You'd also be surprised how the best friends you've ever had can suddenly become like strangers to you when faced with a hard situation.   
  
I should know, because it's all I can do right now not to rush into the tent next to mine and beat some sense into the young summoner there. I have to be strong, I keep telling myself. I have to take that next step and I have to show the others that what we're doing is right, no matter how much I might disagree with that.   
  
I'm not the one who matters. Neither is Aren, as hard as that is to realize. Spira is what matters, and if we don't have Summoners to save it, then we'll all end up dead.   
  
Even since we were little, Aren has always had a heart of gold. He loved Spira more than himself even then, even when our mother became High Summoner.   
  
Even when I was cursing Yevon and vowing never to believe in the Pilgrimage.   
  
I still don't, I guess. No, I don't. There is no guessing involved. I am a black mage, and no Yevonite. I hate the temples, and I dread going there.   
  
But how could I let Aren face this alone, when he's asked me to be his Guardian? I can't, I finally decided. I would be his Guardian, no matter what was said about him because of his sacrilegious choice in companion.  
  
So, here I am. I'm a Guardian of one of the most talented summoners that Spira has ever seen. I should be happy, but I'm face from it. I wish that those damned temple priests had never discovered that Aren had the talent.   
  
If they hadn't, I wouldn't be leading my twin towards his death with every step.   
  
Ever since our birth, he's been in touch with the aeons, and I with the elemental magics. I laugh at the story our mother used to tell of the first time my father held me. I'd wrapped my fist around his finger and coated it in red ice. He was a bit more than shocked, and proud, I'm sure.  
  
He was always a great black mage, and my mother's most loyal guardian.   
  
Both of them are dead now, killed by Sin in Zanarkand. I hate Sin, for all he's done to me. For all he's going to continue to do.   
  
I find it hard to breath as I realize that now that Aren has achieved his first summon... that we'll be leaving here... forever.   
  
I could never return here, without my twin to come with me.   
  
If I even survive his death.  
  
I have to push those thoughts away. There is no convincing Aren otherwise, and he'll go with or without me.   
  
So, we will be leaving these shores tomorrow, just the two of us. I am the only Guardian he has, the only person who's ever cared enough about him to follow him to his death.  
  
I can only hope that I have the strength to let him go.   
  
_


	2. Chapter One: Trouble

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When I'm Gone

**  
_Author Notes:: Ok, here's the actual beginning. BTW, that was Aria in the last chapter. She's... well, depressing to a point. Lol. Based mostly on me, scary enough.   
  
Disclaimer:: I still don't own ff10... I'm telling you, it's really late for you guys to have missed Christmas. _  
  
Chapter One:: Trouble   
  


~~*~~

  
  


Aria wasn't an open, emotional person, by nature. Even as a child, she'd been on the quiet, aloof side, though wise for her years and smarter than most youngsters.   
  
Aren was used to this, after eighteen years as her twin brother, though, and as he watched her staring off into the beautiful sunrise, he placed a smile firmly on his face and approached her. She had to of heard him, but she didn't bother to show it if she did.   
  
"It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?" he spoke. She didn't move, and most would have guess she was ignoring them. She finally sighed.   
  
"Yes, it is."   
  
He nodded once, suddenly a bit guilty at the sadness in her voice. Her arms were crossed across her stomach, like she was nauseous, and her face seemed pained. Her long, dark hair fell over her shoulders and far down her back, untamed.   
  
She turned her head slightly and twin sets of jade eyes met. "The ship leaves soon." she began. He nodded.   
  
"I know... I have to go up to the temple to pray for a safe journey." he began. She tensed slightly and turned her head back to look out over the waves. "You're sure you won't come with me to pray?" he pressed. She stiffened.   
  
"I'm sure." she replied evenly. He sighed, but did not argue with her. He turned and walked to the far end of the village, where the tall temple stood, he turned back to once look down on the small village. It would be the last time they'd see it, he knew.   
  
He took a hesitant breath and turned to enter the temple.   
  


~~*~~

  
  
Aria gently slung her pack over her shoulder and smoothed her straight, knee length blue skirt. The wind blew and her hair billowed out behind her. She restlessly adjusted her white tank, tugging at the violet, green, and blue edging along the collar. Her armlets and tall boots were the only things she didn't toy with as she climbed aboard the ship. She stopped at the head of the gangplank and turned back.   
  
Gathered around her brother were a good portion of the townsfolk to see him off. She waited patiently as he said his goodbyes. Small gifts from the children were pocketed and bundles of no doubt food and supplies were handed to him until Aria wondered if Aren would able to walk up the gangplank at all.   
  
"Come on, Aren. We have to go." she called. She received a few glares, and a few respectful looks to even them out as Aren glanced back at her.   
  
"Alright." he called back. He turned and made the motions of the prayer to Yevon and turned to go. "Good bye!" he yelled as he turned back and waved again.   
  
"Good luck, Lord Aren!" the children called. The elderly woman dabbed at their tears and the men saluted. Aren joined his sister and the two moved further onto the ship.   
  
"Miss Laurei had a farewell gift for you, Aria." he spoke finally, as the ship pulled away from the dock and the two leaned against the railing facing their destination. Aria looked up, a bit surprised and noticed the small box in his hands.   
  
"She did?" Aria asked, taking the box and sliding it open. Inside was a crescent shaped pendent made of silver, on a heavy chain. She felt herself tear up a bit as she slid it on. The pendant hung at about her stomach.   
  
"It's pretty." Aren commented, with a smile.   
  
"What did she get you?" Aria commented. He raised an eyebrow, but ducked to pick up a flat bow among his things. He slid the lid off of the box and smiled. Aria ducked around to look inside the box.   
  
Inside was a blue/silver staff, with a webbed head. He smiled and brought the pieces out. He quickly assembled the handle and then added the head. "It's a staff... wow... it had to be expensive..." he trailed.   
  
Aria watched his amazement at the intricate beauty as she fingered her own gift.   
  
"I guess it makes sense... we will need weapons after all." she finally spoke up. He nodded, a bit distracted.   
  
"I guess..." he trailed. Faintly he shook his head. "I'm going to go into put my things into my cabin." he spoke, taking his mass collection of things with him as he wandered off. Aria turned her attention back to the waves.   
  
An amount of time, that Aria couldn't have possibly told you how long it actually was, passed, before she began to feel stiff. She pushed off of the rail and stretched, turning. Not many were on the ship, and those who were seemed to have deserted the deck. Only one other person was present, and he was an older man that she recognized from her village. She lifted her small back and drifted slowly back to where the cabins, no doubt, were.   
  
Her stomach was protesting to her, and she had to think to realize it had been awhile since she'd last eaten. A long while, if she was right. She descended into the cabin area and found the one that was assigned as hers. Pushing the door open, she walked in and closed the door. She tossed her bag aside and sat on the edge of her bed.   
  
She sighed and lifted the discarded bag, looking for a bite of something to eat, when she realized that she didn't have any. She'd have to go ask Aren for whatever he had.  
  
She stood and dropped the bag beside her bed, and left her chamber. Aren's was just beside hers and she didn't bother to knock.   
  
Aren was lying back on his bed, reading, when she entered. He glanced up at her entrance.   
  
"Do you have anything to eat in here? I'm famished." she spoke. He laughed and tossed a pouch at her.   
  
"Of course." he replied, sitting up and motioning for her to sit next to him.   
  
She dug in the pouch and found small oranges, cheese, and hard bread. It made a good midday meal, she thought, as the two shared what she'd found. She leaned back, finished, and stifled a yawn.   
  
"Tired?" he asked, peeling one of the oranges. She dropped her gaze.   
  
"Yeah... I didn't sleep well last night." she replied. He looked concerned.   
  
"Any real reason?" he pressed.   
  
"Don't worry about it. It was probably nerves." she replied evenly. She sighed a bit.   
  
He didn't buy it, but said nothing more on that subject. The two, instead, ended up in the middle of one of their debates on magic.   
  
It was an hour or so later when she finally left and entered her own cabin.   
  
She stopped dead in her tracks. The mattress had been shredded and there were claw marks on every wall. The small dresser had been turned into scrap wood.   
  
All that was untouched, in actuality, was her bag. It was still in the same spot she'd left it.   
  
She took a deep, careful breath, and forced herself not to panic. "Who...?"   
  


~~*~~

  
  
He laughed at her expression. Maybe the little whore would get the hint. She was no Guardian. She wasn't supposed to be.   
  
"Run, little bitch." he laughed as she backed away from her door. Every movement she made, no matter how guarded, made him laugh. He licked his lips and could almost taste her flesh.   
  
That sounded like fun, he thought. He wanted to taste her flesh, to feel her ripping skin and to drink her crimson blood as it streamed out of her.   
  
She was so slim, her curves generous and her skin a pearly peach. She would, he didn't doubt, taste fresh.   
  
His mouth watered just watching her breathing increase it's speed and her eyes dart around the room.   
  
She saw him, watching her, and he could see her shudder. He tensed in response, but waited. The hunt was often times the best fun. To end it now, would be too easy.   
  
"You're safe, for now, little mage... for now." he growled slightly.

  
  


~~*~~

  
  
Author Notes...2:: Alright, I didn't intend to include that last part in this chapter, but I did. So we have a... problem at the least. *shudders* He scares me, and I wrote him. So, who wants to read more?   
  



	3. Chapter Two: Arrival and Introduction

**

When I'm Gone

**  
Author Notes:: Alright, I forgot to mention it, but black mages are considered evil and people are very prejudice against them. *wink* That means our young Aria isn't welcome most places.   
  
Disclaimer:: RE-CHAN!!! I DON'T OWN FF10!!! WAHHHH!!!  
  
Chapter Two: Arrival and Introduction   
  


~~*~~  
  


Aren was barely making sense out of the incident in Aria's cabin when they arrived on Kilika the next morning. Aria had reverted back to her ice queen status already, but he could tell she was shaken up pretty bad.   
  
He sighed as he brushed some of his dark hair away from his face and shouldered his pack. "Are you ready to go, sis?" he asked. Aria glanced up at him and nodded.   
  
"Of course." she stated. She stood up and headed towards the gangplank, not waiting. He easily caught up with her.   
  
"So this is Kilika? It's quaint." he spoke. She nodded in agreement, but her face was still stony. He couldn't help but notice the way her eyes searched the people that stood to greet him. She stopped at the bottom of the gangplank and slid off to stand at the left side.   
  
Aren sighed. He stopped just at the bottom of the ramp.   
  
"Lord Summoner! Welcome to Kilika!" one person called. The rest of the crowd called their own greetings and he sighed a bit, but planted his smile firmly upon his face.   
  
"Thank you, thank you." he spoke. He extended his hands to try to get them to quiet, or maybe let him pass.   
  
"Lord Summoner!" one of the little kids called. He smiled and knelt next to the child.   
  
"What's your name, little one?" he asked with a grin.   
  
"My name is Ri." the boy spoke. Aren ruffled the boy's hair a bit.  
  
"I'm Aren." he replied. The boy laughed happily as Aren stood and turned to glance at Aria. His twin had successfully melted into the scenery, and was leaning against a crate on the dock, carefully studying her amulet.   
  
"Where are your Guardians, Lord Aren?" one of the young women asked. He gestured towards Aria.   
  
"I have only my sister, there." he replied. The woman gasped and eyed the black mage carefully. The crowd seemed to tense as they realized that Aria was there.  
  
"But... but milord... she's a... black mage..." one of the elders stuttered. Aren darkened.   
  
"She is also my Guardian, and the person I trust the most in my life." he snapped. Aria had drawn her gaze to the growing conflict, and Aren saw that she was trying her hardest not to snap out on them. "If you'll excuse me." he spoke curtly. He motioned for Aria to join him and pushed through the crowd.   
  
They parted for them finally.  
  
When the two were away from the gathering, Aria finally spoke up.   
  
"It's my fault that things are already going sour." she spoke. He glanced over.   
  
"Things aren't sour, the people are." he replied. She eyed him.  
  
"And the difference would be?" she asked. He sighed and entered what he assumed was the inn.  
  
A young woman stood behind the main desk, her attention fixed on whatever she was doing so that she didn't notice their entrance. Upon approaching, Aren realized that she was mixing up a potion with a collection of herbs.   
  
Wavy red/brown hair falling into her eyes, tip of her tongue peeking out between deep pink lips, concentration totally fixed on her task. Aren found himself staring.   
  
"Are you a white mage?" he asked finally. She started, inadvertently knocking the bottle she was mixing in off the counter. It hit the floor and shattered. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Aren spoke, walking around the desk to help her clean up the mess.   
  
She knelt, a few pieces in her hands already. "It's alright, sir. I shouldn't have gotten distracted." she replied, tone apologetic and a bit nervous. They both managed to get the mess cleaned up in a moment and she looked up at him with a thankful smile. He was taken aback by the intensity of her ice blue eyes.   
  
"Thank you." she spoke.   
  
"Don't thank me, I shouldn't have startled you." he managed. The two stood and Aren found he couldn't stop staring.   
  
"My name's Ellyse. My grandmother owns this inn." she introduced. Aren laughed a bit.   
  
"I'm Aren, and this is my sister Aria." he responded, motioning to the black mage. Ellyse glanced at Aria.   
  
"A black mage? Impressive." she commented. She turned back to Aren. "And you're a summoner?" she asked.   
  
"Yeah." he managed, rubbing the back of his head nervously. Aria noted this with a half grin.  
  
"I'm a white mage." she replied. He shook his head slightly.   
  
"I thought you were. Not many others can mix up potions from scratch." he explained. She smiled slightly.   
  
"I'm not that great at it, but my potions work. And it brings in some extra money for my grandmother." Ellyse explained. She blinked innocently, and turned her attention back to where the herbs were laid out. She precisely began to pack them into pouches to be stored away.  
  
"Let me help." he offered. She glanced up and smiled.   
  
"Sure." she replied. Aria coughed once.   
  
"I think I'm going to go look around the village a bit, Aren." she spoke. Aren looked up a little startled and red in the face. But Aria was already gone.   
  
Aren helped Ellyse pack up the herbs and she slid them under the desk. "I assume you're in Kilika to go the temple?" she prodded.   
  
"Yeah..." he trailed. "I'm on my Pilgrimage."   
  
She smiled up at him. "Can I tell you something without you laughing at me?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Sure."   
  
She laughed slightly. "I've always wanted to be a Guardian and go on a Pilgrimage with a summoner." she spoke. Her cheeks began to redden a bit and she looked up at him.   
  
He smiled in return. "You'd probably make a great Guardian." he commented. She smiled.   
  
"Really?" she asked. He nodded.   
  
"Of course."  
  


~~*~~  
  


Aria sighed. Sure, Kilika was a beautiful place, but the people were some of the most superstitious that she had ever met. Or not met, she corrected. She'd spoken to no one, and seen few. The few she had seen had greeted her with only glares and dark looks.   
  
It was a taxing time.   
  
Finally she decided to venture to the forest. "Maybe some time alone among nature will help." she thought with a forced smile.   
  
The path was wide, but the forest around it was thick and heavy. The air was significantly cooler here, and much darker.   
  
She liked it instantly.   
  
Following the path, she found that she really was alone here. She saw no people at all. It was peaceful. A bit further down the path, she found a wide, shallow river. She grinned and took a seat by it's banks. The sound of the water was very soothing.   
  
She pulled her boots off and dangled her feet in. She closed her eyes and sighed.   
  
She was too deep in relaxation, a rare state for her, to hear the approach of someone... or something... from down the path.  
  
So it was a surprise to her when something tackled her from behind and she ended up face first in the water with a reasonably large something on her back.   
  
She panicked.  
  
She thrashed hard, but the creature was obviously stronger than her. It had claws too, she noted, because it was now tearing into her back. She could see crimson streams surrounding her in the water and she forced her eyes closed.   
  
She was drowning, and being torn to shreds. Either way, she was going to die here soon if she didn't act.   
  
She pushed upward as hard as she could, but it was too heavy. With a forced thought, she called a Thunder spell to mind and pushed it outwards from her. She felt the shock just as well as the monster did, though, and her world went black.   
  


~~*~~  
  


Author Notes:: Ok, so I'm mean and I leave it at a cliffy like that. *wink* Don't hurt me!   
  



End file.
